Standing Outside The Fire

Todays mass was a poignant reminder that V leaving for NY is a good thing no matter how much my heart breaks.  No matter the river that flows from my eyes.

As I sit in the pew looking towards the alter i see a tiny girl with little curls at the tips. She is next to her broad shouldered father.  I think V when she was little; when this scene was her.  I feel pain at her leaving. I feel joy at her leaving. Let mr explain. 
Today in church father spoke of how we  choose things in our life, like have a dog, knowing that eventually these things may cause us deep pain, when the dog dies. We choose them anyway. We chose them because even though V is moving across the country to take chances in a new city where she knows no one I had her here for many years. Enjoyed her company. Loved her. Still love her. That this is what we were raising her to do. To spread her wings and fly away.
I hope she finds everything she is looking for. I hopr that she has joys and pains. That she continues to grow into the beautiful lady we’ve seen her becoming for so many years.

We go through life with the anticipation of pain and grief. That’s the point though. You can not live a filled and joyful life without chance and pain. “Don’t be afraid to get burned. It’s worth the pain and sacrifice and sweat.”-Father Roy Snipes

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